Marriage

I am a wife devoted to my husband. I have come of my own accord, it is true. But do not, on that account, treat me with disrespect. I am thy wife and, therefore, deserve to be treated respectfully. Wilt thou not treat me so, because I have come hither of my own accord? In the presence of so many, why dost thou treat me like an ordinary woman? I am not certainly crying in the wilderness. Dost thou not hear me? But if thou refuse to do what I supplicate thee for, O Dushmanta, thy head this moment shall burst into a hundred pieces! The husband entering the womb of the wife cometh out himself in the form of the son. Therefore is the wife called by those cognisant of the Vedas as Jaya (she of whom one is born). And the son that is so born unto persons cognisant of the Vedic Mantras rescueth the spirits of deceased ancestors. And because the son rescueth ancestors from the hell call Put, therefore, hath he been called by the Self-create himself as Puttra (the rescuer from Put). By a son one conquereth the three worlds. By a son’s son, one enjoyeth eternity. And by a grandson’s son great-grand-fathers enjoy everlasting happiness. She is a true wife who is skilful in household affairs. She is a true wife who hath borne a son. She is a true wife whose heart is devoted to her lord. She is a true wife who knoweth none but her lord. The wife is a man’s half. The wife is the first of friends. The wife is the root of religion, profit, and desire. The wife is the root of salvation. They that have wives can perform religious acts. They that have wives can lead domestic lives. They that have wives have the means to be cheerful. They that have wives can achieve good fortune. Sweet-speeched wives are friends on occasions of joy. They are as fathers on occasions of religious acts. They are mothers in sickness and woe. Even in the deep woods to a traveller a wife is his refreshment and solace. He that hath a wife is trusted by all. A wife, therefore, is one’s most valuable possession.

"'Bhishma said, "O scorcher of foes, all spouses in this world are called by the name of Data. Although that name is applied to all, yet there is this great distinction to be observed. If, having married three wives belonging to the three other orders, a Brahmana takes a Brahmana wife the very last of all yet shall she be regarded as the first in rank among all the wives, and as deserving of the greatest respect. Indeed, among all the co-wives, she shall be the foremost in consideration. In her apartments should be kept all those articles that are necessary in view of the husband's baths, personal decorations, washing of teeth, and application of collyrium to the eyes. In her apartments should be kept the Havya and the Kavya and all else that the husband may require for the performance of his religious acts. If the Brahmana wife is in the house, no other wife is entitled to attend to these needs of the husband. Only the Brahmana wife, O Yudhishthira, should assist in these acts of the husband. The husband's food and drink and garlands and robes and ornaments, all these should be given by the Brahmana wife to the husband, for she is the foremost in rank and consideration among all the spouses of the husband. These are the ordinances of the scriptures as laid down by Manu, O delighter of the Kurus! Even this, O monarch, is seen to be the course of eternal usage. If a Brahmana, O Yudhishthira, led by lust, acts in a different way, he shall come to be regarded as a Chandala among Brahmanas.[296] The son born of the Kshatriya wife has been said to be equal in status to the son born of the Brahmana wife. For all that, a distinction attaches to the son of the Brahmana wife in consequence of the superiority of the Brahmana to the Kshatriya in respect of the order of birth. The Kshatriya cannot be regarded as equal to the Brahmana woman in point of birth.

Even when the husband leaving this world goeth into the region of Yama, it is the devoted wife that accompanies him thither. A wife going before waits for the husband. But if the husband goeth before, the chaste wife followeth close. For these reasons, O king, doth marriage exist. The husband enjoyth the companionship of the wife both in this and in the other worlds. It hath been said by learned persons that one is himself born as one’s son. Therefore, a man whose wife hath borne a son should look upon her as his mother. Beholding the face of the son one hath begotten upon his wife, like his own face in a mirror, one feeleth as happy as a virtuous man, on attaining to heaven. Men scorched by mental grief, or suffering under bodily pain, feel as much refreshed in the companionship of their wives as a perspiring person in a cool bath. No man, even in anger, should ever do anything that is disagreeable to his wife, seeing that happiness, joy, and virtue,--everything dependeth on the wife. A wife is the sacred field in which the husband is born himself. Even Rishis cannot create creatures without women. What happiness is greater than what the father feeleth when the son running towards him, even though his body be covered with dust, claspeth his limbs? Why then dost thou treat with indifference such a son, who hath approached thee himself and who casteth wistful glances towards thee for climbing thy knees? Even ants support their own eggs without destroying them; then why shouldst not thou, a virtuous man that thou art, support thy own child? The touch of soft sandal paste, of women, of (cool) water is not so agreeable as the touch of one’s own infant son locked in one’s embrace. As a Brahmana is the foremost of all bipeds, a cow, the foremost of all quadrupeds, a protector, the foremost of all superiors, so is the son the foremost of all objects, agreeable to the touch. Let, therefore, this handsome child touch thee in embrace.

Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

1. I call the name of him that comes here, that hath come here, and is arriving; I crave (the name) of Indra, Vritra's slayer, the Visava, of hundredfold strength. 2. The road by which the Asvins carried away as a bride Sûryâ, Savitar's daughter,'by that road,' Bhaga (fortune) told me, 'thou shalt bring here a wife'! With thy wealth-procuring, great, golden hook, O Indra, husband of Sakî, procure a wife for me that desireth a wife!

1. May, O Agni, a suitor after our own heart come to us, may he come to this maiden with our fortune! May she, agreeable to suitors, charming at festivals, promptly obtain happiness through a husband! 2. Agreeable to Soma, agreeable to Brahma, arranged by Aryaman, with the unfailing certainty of god Dhâtar, do I bestow upon thee good fortune, the acquisition of a husband. 3. This woman shall obtain a hnsband, since king Soma makes her lovely! May she, begetting sons, become a queen; may she, going to her husband, shine in loveliness! 4. As this comfortable cave, O Maghavan (Indra), furnishing a safe abode, hath become pleasing to animals, thus may this woman be a favourite of fortune (Bhaga), beloved, not at odds with her husband! 5. Do thou ascend the full, inexhaustible ship of Bhaga (fortune); upon this bring, hither the suitor who shall be agreeable (to thee)! 6. Bring hither by thy shouts, O lord of wealth, the suitor, bend his mind towards her; turn thou the right side of every agreeable suitor towards (her)! 7. This gold and bdellium, this balsam, and Bhaga (fortune), too; these have prepared thee for husbands, that thou mayest obtain the one that is agreeable. 8. Hither to thee Savitar shall lead the husband that is agreeable! Do thou, O herb, bestow (him) upon her!

1. Through this oblation, that causes prosperity, may this man flourish anew; may he excel the wife that they have brought to him with his sap! 2. May he excel in strength, excel in royalty! May this couple be inexhaustible in wealth that bestows thousandfold lustre! 3. Tvashtar begot (for thee) a wife, Tvashtar for her begot thee as a husband. May Tvashtar bestow upon you two a thousand lives, may he bestow upon you long life!

27 Happy be thou and prosper witlh thy children here: be vigilant to rule thy household in this home. 28 Her hue is blue and red: the fienod who clingeth close is driven off. 29 Give thou the woollen robe away: deal treasure to the Brahman priests. 30 Unlovely is his body when it glistens with this wicked fiend, 31 Consumptions, from her people, which follow the bride's resplendent train,− 32 Let not the highway thieves who lie in ambush find the wedded pair. 33 Signs of good fortune mark the bride come all of you and look at her. 34 Pungent is this, and bitter this, filled, as it were, with arrow−barbs, Empoisoned and.not fit for use. 35 The fringe, the cloth that decks her head, and then the triply parted robe,− 36 I take thy hand in mine for happy fortune that thou mayst reach old age with me thy husband. 37 O Pusan, send her on as most auspicious, her who shall be the sharer of my pleasures; 38 For thee, with bridal train, they, first, escorted Surya to her home. 39 Agni hath given the bride again with splendour and with ample life. 40 Soma obtained her first of all; next the Gandharva was her lord. 41 Soma to the Gandharva, and to Agni the Gandharva gave: 42 Be ye not parted; dwell ye here reach the full time of human life. 43 So may Prajapati bring children forth to us; may Aryaman adorn us till old age come nigh. 44 Not evil−eyed, no slayer of thy husband, bring weal to cattle, radiant, gentlehearted; 45 O Bounteous Indra, make this bride blest in her sons and fortunate. 46 Over thy husband's father and thy husband's mother bear full sway. 47 So may the Universal Gods, so may the Waters join our hearts.

2 I am the banner and the head, a mighty arbitress am I: 3 My Sons are slayers of the foe, my Daughter is a ruling Queen: 4 Oblation, that which Indra gave and thus grew glorious and most high,− 5 Destroyer of the rival wife, Sole Spouse, victorious, conqueror, 6 I have subdued as conqueror these rivals, these my fellow−wives,

2 She never vexed me nor was angry with me, but to my friends and me was ever gracious. 3 My wife holds me aloof, her mother hates me: the wretched man finds none to give him comfort. 4 Others caress the wife of him whose riches the die hath coveted, that rapid courser: 5 When I resolve to play with these no longer, my friends depart from me and leave me lonely. 6 The gamester seeks the gambling−house, and wonders, his body all afire, Shall I be lucky? 7 Dice, verily, are armed with goads and driving−hooks, deceiving and tormenting, causing grievous woe. 8 Merrily sports their troop, the three−and−fifty, like Savitar the God whose ways are faithful. 9 Downward they roll, and then spring quickly upward, and, handless, force the man with hands to serve 10 The gambler's wife is left forlorn and wretched: the mother mourns the son who wanders homeless. 11 Sad is the gambler when he sees a matron, another's wife, and his well−ordered dwelling. 12 To the great captain of your mighty army, who hath become the host's imperial leader, 13 Play not with dice: no, cultivate thy corn−land. Enjoy the gain, and deem that wealth sufficient. 14 Make me your friend: show us some little mercy. Assail us not with your terrific fierceness.

Allah citeth an example for those who disbelieve: the wife of Noah and the wife of Lot, who were under two of Our righteous slaves yet betrayed them so that they (the husbands) availed them naught against Allah and it was said (unto them): Enter the Fire along with those who enter.

The adulterer shall not marry save an adulteress or an idolatress, and the adulteress none shall marry save an adulterer or an idolater. All that is forbidden unto believers.

And marry not those women whom your fathers married, except what hath already happened (of that nature) in the past. Lo! it was ever lewdness and abomination, and an evil way.

"Kausalya and Sumitra dear, And thou, my sweet Kaikeyi, hear. All upon Santa feast your gaze, The last time for a length of days." To Santa's arms the ladies leapt, And hung about her neck and wept, And cried, "O, happy be the life Of this great Brahman and his wife. The Wind, the Fire, the Moon on high, The Earth, the Streams, the circling Sky, Preserve thee in the wood, true spouse, Devoted to thy husband's vows. And O dear Santa, ne'er neglect To pay the dues of meek respect To the great saint, thy husband's sire, With all observance and with fire. And, sweet one, pure of spot and blame, Forget not thou thy husband's claim; In every change, in good and ill, Let thy sweet words delight him still, And let thy worship constant be: Her lord is woman's deity. To learn thy welfare, dearest friend, The king will many a Brahman send. Let happy thoughts thy spirit cheer, And be not troubled, daughter dear."

His sweetly-speaking bride, who best Deserved her lord, he thus addressed. Then tender love bade passion wake, And thus the fair Videhan spake: "What words are these that thou hast said? Contempt of me the thought has bred. O best of heroes, I dismiss With bitter scorn a speech like this: Unworthy of a warrior's fame It taints a monarch's son with shame, Ne'er to be heard from those who know The science of the sword and bow. My lord, the mother, sire, and son Receive their lots by merit won; The brother and the daughter find The portions to their deeds assigned. The wife alone, whate'er await, Must share on earth her husband's fate. So now the king's command which sends Thee to the wild, to me extends. The wife can find no refuge, none, In father, mother, self, or son: Both here, and when they vanish hence, Her husband is her sole defence. If, Raghu's son, thy steps are led Where Dandak's pathless wilds are spread, My foot before thine own shall pass Through tangled thorn and matted grass. Dismiss thine anger and thy doubt: Like refuse water cast them out, And lead me, O my hero, hence-- I know not sin--with confidence. Whate'er his lot, 'tis far more sweet To follow still a husband's feet Than in rich palaces to lie, Or roam at pleasure through the sky. My mother and my sire have taught What duty bids, and trained each thought, Nor have I now mine ear to turn The duties of a wife to learn. I'll seek with thee the woodland dell And pathless wild where no men dwell, Where tribes of silvan creatures roam, And many a tiger makes his home. My life shall pass as pleasant there As in my father's palace fair. The worlds shall wake no care in me; My only care be truth to thee. There while thy wish I still obey, True to my vows with thee I'll stray, And there shall blissful hours be spent In woods with honey redolent. In forest shades thy mighty arm Would keep a stranger's life from harm, And how shall Sita think of fear When thou, O glorious lord, art near?

Thy fate and mine the queen will know, And broken-hearted die of woe. For my unworthy sake, for mine, Rama, the glory of his line, Who bridged his way across the main, Is basely in a puddle slain; And I, the graceless wife he wed, Have brought this ruin on his head. Me, too, on him, O Ravan, slay: The wife beside her husband lay. By his dear body let me rest, Cheek close to cheek and breast to breast, My happy eyes I then will close, And follow whither Rama goes."

In that he mixes (the cup) for (Tvastr) with the wives with ghee, he overpowers it with a bolt and draws it. 'Thou art taken with a support', he says; the support is this (earth); therefore offspring are born on this (earth). 'Of thee, pressed by Brhaspati ', he says; Brhaspati is the holy power of the gods; verily by the holy power he produces offspring for him. 'O drop', he says; the drop is seed; verily thus he impregnates seed. 'Possessing power', he says [3]; power is offspring; verily he produces offspring for him. 'O Agni', he says; the impregnator of seed is Agni; 'With the wives', he says, for pairing; 'in unison with the god Tvastr drink the Soma', he says; Tvastr is the maker of the forms of pairings of animals; verily he places form in animals. The gods sought to slay Tvastr; he went to the wives, they would not give him up; therefore [4] men do not give up even one worthy of death who has come for help. Therefore in (the cup) for the wives for Tvastr also a drawing is made. He does not put (the cup) down, for from what is not depressed offspring are produced. He does not utter the secondary Vasat; if he were to do so, he would let Rudra go after his offspring; if he were not to do so, the Agnidh would consume the Soma before it had been appeased; he says the secondary Vasat muttering, he does not let Rudra go after his offspring, the Agnidh consumes the Soma after it has been appeased. 'O Agnidh, sit on the lap of the Nestr; O Nestr, lead up the wife', he says verily the Agnidh impregnates the Nestr, the Nestr the wife. He causes the Udgatr to look (at the wife); the Udgatr is Prajapati; (verily it serves) for the production of offspring. He causes water to follow along; verily thus he pours seed; along the thigh he causes it to flow, for along the thigh is seed poured; baring the thigh he causes it to flow, for when the thigh is bared, they pair, then seed is poured, then offspring are born.

He makes it with a triple stand; these worlds are three; (verily it serves) to obtain these worlds. He makes (it) with the metres; the metres are strength; verily he makes it with strength. He makes a hole with a Yajus, for discrimination. He makes it so great, of equal girth with Prajapati, the beginning of the sacrifice. He makes it with two breasts, for the milking of sky and earth; he makes it of four breasts, for the milking of cattle; he makes it of eight breasts, for the milking of the metres. For him who practises witchcraft he should make it nine cornered; verily gathering together the threefold thunderbolt he hurls it at his foe, to lay him low. 'Having made the great pan', (with these words) he deposits (it); verily he establishes it among the deities. With seven (verses) he fumigates; the breaths in the head are seven, the pan is the head of the sacrifice; verily he places the breaths in the head of the sacrifice; therefore seven are the breaths in the head. He fumigates with horse-dung; the horse is connected with Prajapati; (verily it serves) to connect it with its place of birth. 'May Aditi thee', he says; Aditi is this (earth); verily with Aditi in Aditi he digs, to avoid injury to it, for one hurts not oneself. 'May the wives of the gods thee', he says; the wives of the gods made it first [1]; verily with them he places it. 'May the Dhisanas thee', he says; the Dhisanas are the sciences; verily he enkindles it with the sciences. 'May the wives thee', he says; the wives are the metres; verily with the wives he makes it cooked. 'May the protectors, he says; the protectors are the Hotr's offices; verily with the Hotr's offices he cooks it. 'May the women thee', he says; the women are the wives of the gods [2]; verily with them he cooks it. With six (verses) he cooks; the seasons are six; verily with the seasons he cooks it. 'May they cook', he says twice; therefore twice in the year does the corn ripen.

The Exposition of the Soma Sacrifice (continued) If he should offer hospitality after unyoking both (the oxen), he would break up the sacrifice. If (he should offer) before he has unyoked both, it would be as when hospitality is offered to one who has not yet arrived. One ox is unyoked, one ox is not unyoked; then he offers hospitality, for the continuance of the sacrifice. The wife (of the sacrificer) holds on (to the cart); for the wife is mistress of the household gear; verily he offers what is approved by the wife. The share of the wife in the sacrifice makes a pair; so the wife also [1] grasps the sacrifice that it may not be interrupted. With whatever retinue the king comes, to all of them hospitality is offered; the metres are the retinue of King Soma. 'Thou art the hospitality of Agni. For Visnu thee!' he says; thus he offers (hospitality) to the Gayatri. 'Thou art the hospitality of Soma. 'For Visnu thee!' he says; thus he offers (hospitality) to the Tristubh. 'Thou art the hospitality of the stranger. For Visnu thee!' he says; thus he offers (hospitality) to the Jagati [2]. 'For Agni thee, giver of wealth, for Visnu thee!' he says; thus he offers (hospitality) to the Anustubh. 'For the eagle, bringer of the Soma, thee, for Visnu thee!' he says; thus he offers (hospitality) to the Gayatri. He offers five times. The Pankti has five syllables, the sacrifice is fivefold; verily he wins the sacrifice. The theologians say, 'For what reason is the Gayatri offered to on either side of the offering of hospitality?' Because the Gayatri brought the Soma down [3]; therefore is it offered to on both sides of hospitality, before and after. Hospitality is the head of the sacrifice, the sacrificial cake is offered on nine potsherds, therefore the head has nine apertures. The sacrificial cake is offered on nine potsherds.

“Then I saw Alcmena, the wife of Amphitryon, who also bore to Jove indomitable Hercules; and Megara who was daughter to great King Creon, and married the redoubtable son of Amphitryon.

“Neptune, however, lay with his daughter, and she had a son by him, the great Nausithous, who reigned over the Phaeacians. Nausithous had two sons Rhexenor and Alcinous;58 Apollo killed the first of them while he was still a bridegroom and without male issue; but he left a daughter Arete, whom Alcinous married, and honours as no other woman is honoured of all those that keep house along with their husbands.

To this Penelope replied, “Eurymachus, heaven robbed me of all my beauty whether of face or figure when the Argives set sail for Troy and my dear husband with them. If he were to return and look after my affairs, I should both be more respected and show a better presence to the world. As it is, I am oppressed with care, and with the afflictions which heaven has seen fit to heap upon me. My husband foresaw it all, and when he was leaving home he took my right wrist in his hand—‘Wife,’ he said, ‘we shall not all of us come safe home from Troy, for the Trojans fight well both with bow and spear. They are excellent also at fighting from chariots, and nothing decides the issue of a fight sooner than this. I know not, therefore, whether heaven will send me back to you, or whether I may not fall over there at Troy. In the meantime do you look after things here. Take care of my father and mother as at present, and even more so during my absence, but when you see our son growing a beard, then marry whom you will, and leave this your present home.’ This is what he said and now it is all coming true. A night will come when I shall have to yield myself to a marriage which I detest, for Jove has taken from me all hope of happiness. This further grief, moreover, cuts me to the very heart. You suitors are not wooing me after the custom of my country. When men are courting a woman who they think will be a good wife to them and who is of noble birth, and when they are each trying to win her for himself, they usually bring oxen and sheep to feast the friends of the lady, and they make her magnificent presents, instead of eating up other people’s property without paying for it.”

Helen, after the death of Paris, married Deiphobus his brother, and at the taking of Troy betrayed him, in order to reconcile herself to Menelaus her first husband, who received her again into favour.

“Say, chief, is all thy ancient valour lost? Where are thy threats, and where thy glorious boast, That propp’d alone by Priam’s race should stand Troy’s sacred walls, nor need a foreign hand? Now, now thy country calls her wonted friends, And the proud vaunt in just derision ends. Remote they stand while alien troops engage, Like trembling hounds before the lion’s rage. Far distant hence I held my wide command, Where foaming Xanthus laves the Lycian land; With ample wealth (the wish of mortals) bless’d, A beauteous wife, and infant at her breast; With those I left whatever dear could be: Greece, if she conquers, nothing wins from me; Yet first in fight my Lycian bands I cheer, And long to meet this mighty man ye fear; While Hector idle stands, nor bids the brave Their wives, their infants, and their altars save. Haste, warrior, haste! preserve thy threaten’d state, Or one vast burst of all-involving fate Full o’er your towers shall fall, and sweep away Sons, sires, and wives, an undistinguish’d prey. Rouse all thy Trojans, urge thy aids to fight; These claim thy thoughts by day, thy watch by night; With force incessant the brave Greeks oppose; Such cares thy friends deserve, and such thy foes.”

The senior spoke and sate. To whom replied The graceful husband of the Spartan bride: “Cold counsels, Trojan, may become thy years But sound ungrateful in a warrior’s ears: Old man, if void of fallacy or art, Thy words express the purpose of thy heart, Thou, in thy time, more sound advice hast given; But wisdom has its date, assign’d by heaven. Then hear me, princes of the Trojan name! Their treasures I’ll restore, but not the dame; My treasures too, for peace, I will resign; But be this bright possession ever mine.”

Four things does a wreckless man gain who covets his neighbour's wife,--a bad reputation, an uncomfortable bed, thirdly, punishment, and lastly, hell.

He who destroys life, who speaks untruth, who in this world takes what is not given him, who goes to another man's wife;

Wise people do not call that a strong fetter which is made of iron, wood, or hemp; far stronger is the care for precious stones and rings, for sons and a wife.